Recommended Movie: Donnie Darko. I have a soft spot for teen angst and this film hits the spot. It has everything; the realization of mortality, exploration of sexuality, change triggering fear and repression, time traveling rabbits. I sometimes question my desire for these types of films (see Pleasantville for a more visually pleasing, formulaic example, or The Virgin Suicides for the female angle.) I can only supposed that it was one of those times in life where you realize too late you slept though a good part. Or at least an interesting part. Only, I was not really asleep, I just closed my eyes and waited for it all to go away.

I was not always such a fan of Hamlet. I recall certain events that convince me I was actually a terror as a small child. I can remember my family moving into a new neighborhood when I was around 4. The first thing I did was take off down the street. Upon finding another boy of about the same age, I proceeded to fight him. It ended in a standoff (4 year olds are not terribly effective street fighters) and we decided to become friends. Today I could write a book about being passive/aggressive, but I sometimes wonder what went on in that little kid's head.

I am sure, slowly, I came more and more to rationalize my experiences. A metered self awareness. The same friend, when I was in Kindergarten, came one day to inform me that he had discovered a word much worse than the F-word, our chosen curse at the time. Curiosity aroused, after the appropriate amount of begging on my part, he informed me it was the F-word proceeded by Mother. Having no idea what the F-word meant, I was at a total loss as to how putting the word mother in front of it made it any worse. I even pressed him, "are you sure they didn't say double, or maybe put another swear word in there, somewhere?" I was obviously not as impressed or giddy as he expected. I tried to chalk it up to the whimsy of the faceless "they", but left somehow disappointed, silently questioning the anti-authority.

I never hear Conor swear, oddly enough, but his trips to the Principle's office have continually declined over the years, so he would seem to be a little like his father. Slowly placing himself in context with his environment, in a way other than aggressor or reactionary. I suppose I have a few years of this mellow march towards the teen years. During which I can observe and enjoy teen angst as a detached observer in the privacy of a DVD player. Whether I will have the same tastes in movies after being cast as the authority figure in my son and daughter's teen play, well, that depends on how many Tangent Universes I have to juggle.

Afterword. One interesting model I came across was of the teen years as detention camp.

It's important to realize that, no, the adults don't know what the kids are doing to one another. They know, in the abstract, that kids are monstrously cruel to one another, just as we know in the abstract that people get tortured in poorer countries. But, like us, they don't like to dwell on this depressing fact, and they don't see evidence of specific abuses unless they go looking for it.

Public school teachers are in much the same position as prison wardens. Wardens' main concern is to keep the prisoners on the premises. They also need to keep them fed, and as far as possible prevent them from killing one another. Beyond that, they want to have as little to do with the prisoners as possible, so they leave them to create whatever social organization they want. From what I've read, the society that the prisoners create is warped, savage, and pervasive, and it is no fun to be at the bottom of it.

I'll have to let Alison know she is going to prison next year.